I feel like all I have done this quarter is schoolwork, work, and sit alone in my room procrastinating. The fun, spontaneous, adventure moments are so few and far between. Last quarter was emotionally difficult, but at least I could say I was living, and I don’t feel like that this quarter. Don’t get me wrong, there have been moments, but a lot fewer of them. I can feel myself withdrawing, shunning human contact (which isn’t hard because it’s not like I really see anyone besides Jen and my coworkers anymore). Alone is the best time for me because I don’t have to pretend that I am not irrationally sad or angry. I don’t even know what the problem is, just that there is one. And it frustrates me never seeing my friends. I know we are here for school, but how long can we let it get in the way of life? Life, friends, relationships those should come first. Or else when does it end? After college we let grad school get in the way of life, and then PhD programs, and then our jobs. We become slaves to “responsibility” and cease to really live and enjoy the fruits of our labor, and honestly it is killing me. I know I will get my work done in the end, so why not take some time out to enjoy life around me? An hour spent making memories and forging relationships is not an hour that is wasted, no matter how much studying there is to do. But this isn’t something that I can do alone, and since everyone I know is so busy I will just be in my room, alone, doing nothing of consequence.
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